The first porn?!

Post by **MichelleH** » Mon Jul 28, 2008 12:38 pm

Ishtar wrote:You're only getting away with this because our American friends don't know what 'crack one off' means!

Some of us do

Post by **Minimalist** » Mon Jul 28, 2008 12:44 pm

Thank goodness for the Urban Dictionary.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.p ... ck+one+off

dannan14 · Post by **dannan14** » Mon Jul 28, 2008 2:38 pm

Hehe, the context made it obvious anyway.

john · Post by **john** » Mon Jul 28, 2008 8:20 pm

MichelleH wrote:
Ishtar wrote:You're only getting away with this because our American friends don't know what 'crack one off' means!
Some of us do

Hmpphh -

To manipulate my thingy simultaneously in the Presence of God and the Absence of Woman is UNAMERICAN.

Ask George.

Other cultures might be different, but we will conquer them.

hoka hey

john

Post by **Minimalist** » Mon Jul 28, 2008 8:47 pm

Other cultures might be different, but we will conquer them.

Sadly, it's about all we seem able to do.

dannan14 · Post by **dannan14** » Mon Jul 28, 2008 9:09 pm

Minimalist wrote:
Other cultures might be different, but we will conquer them.

Sadly, it's about all we seem able to do.

Not really. We only seem able to defeat their militaries. Their cultures and their guerrillas persist obstinately.

Ishtar · Post by **Ishtar** » Mon Jul 28, 2008 9:43 pm

john wrote:
MichelleH wrote:
Ishtar wrote:You're only getting away with this because our American friends don't know what 'crack one off' means!
Some of us do
Hmpphh -

To manipulate my thingy simultaneously in the Presence of God and the Absence of Woman is UNAMERICAN.

You're only having to do that in the Presence of God and Absence of Woman because George's JC lot got rid of the woman.

Post by **Minimalist** » Mon Jul 28, 2008 9:50 pm

Well....the RIGHT women.

Rokcet Scientist · Post by **Rokcet Scientist** » Tue Jul 29, 2008 9:16 am

john wrote:To manipulate my thingy simultaneously in the Presence of God and the Absence of Woman is UNAMERICAN.

Ask George.

OK, you want to behave in a true AMERICAN WAY?
Try bleaching your ass!
I'm not kidding you! That is honest-to-god true 21st century AMERICAN CULTURE...

Look here for instance:
http://www.villagevoice.com/2005-07-05/ ... bungholes/

Anybody want to ask George about THAT...?

Post by **Minimalist** » Tue Jul 29, 2008 10:00 am

Try bleaching your ass!

What kind of mailing lists are you on, anyway!

War Arrow · Post by **War Arrow** » Tue Jul 29, 2008 10:07 am

john wrote:
MichelleH wrote:
Ishtar wrote:You're only getting away with this because our American friends don't know what 'crack one off' means!
Some of us do
Hmpphh -

To manipulate my thingy simultaneously in the Presence of God and the Absence of Woman is UNAMERICAN.

Ask George.

Other cultures might be different, but we will conquer them.

hoka hey

john

You know, John, I'm deeply ashamed to admit that only now am I beginning to realise that I had you figured out quite wrongly.

Also kudos to RS for getting this thread onto the subject of bottom bleaching. I'm simultaneously shocked and impressed.

Apologies for any offence caused by use of term 'crack one off'. In future I will attempt to preserve a certain ambiguity by using the phrase 'smash' as used by a colleague at work who suggested that upon arriving home I might like to have a "good old smash" (with appropriate hand gestures and facial expressions in clarification of his meaning) - not sure if that one's in the urban dictionary yet, and if not, you heard it here first.

popelane24 · Post by **popelane24** » Mon Aug 04, 2008 6:31 pm

Hi guys -this thread is funny and all but I was actually being half assed serious.

Think about it. Most "art" was painted in the impressive palaces and high places etc was it not? So what would your average man/woman do? Build themselves a little statue and have a good ol' "shake"... it really does seem logical to me, particularly if, as Ishtar mentioned, that these were figurines used in some form of sex cult...

I was reading my Bible tonight, the book of Ezekiel. I came upon this in chapter 16:

"15 “But you thought your fame and beauty were your own. So you gave yourself as a prostitute to every man who came along. Your beauty was theirs for the asking. 16 You used the lovely things I gave you to make shrines for idols, where you played the prostitute. Unbelievable! How could such a thing ever happen? 17 You took the very jewels and gold and silver ornaments I had given you and made statues of men and worshiped them. This is adultery against me! ".

There we have it idols being made to commit "adultery", which Jesus in Matthew describes as looking at a woman to lust after her... and then he mentions if your eyes and hands cause you to sin etc etc but thats beside the point.....

So really, what do you think, were things things used like porn is today? At least, as opposed to giant orgies etc, for -private- "worship"?

Do archaeologists find these figurines in places like ancient toilets and bedrooms? Or JUST in temples and "high places"?

Hopefully I didn't create a thread just to have it made fun of. But I just got back from a 4-day vacation and I did get a few chuckles I gotta say.

I'll be back on tomorrow. Shalom.

-Lane

popelane24 · Post by **popelane24** » Mon Aug 04, 2008 6:34 pm

Forgot to mention the above "woman" "God" was talking about was the nation of Israel. Just to point that out.

rich · Post by **rich** » Mon Aug 04, 2008 8:11 pm

From Wikipedia:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Handmaiden

In Ancient Egypt, the role of handmaiden was important to Egyptian religious practices. One of the early gods, Atum, was supposed to have brought the world into being through self-fornication. In subsequent ritual, a priestess would assist the priest in the ceremony, through the use of a carving representing Atum's penis. These female priests were important within the ritual for they assisted in the creation of the world.

There are numerous references to prostitutes near or within the religious buildings. This is a mistaken representation of their role, for the priestesses were, as well as oft being 'handmaidens', involved in 'sex magic' rituals. It was believed that the culmination of the process of sex brought the participants closer to the higher plane where they could gain enlightenment. In this role, these handmaidens were essential to the religious practices.

So maybe

Post by **Minimalist** » Mon Aug 04, 2008 8:44 pm

http://www.archaeology.org/0503/abstracts/israel.html

Ultimately, the campaign to eliminate the goddess has failed. "Asherah was buried long ago by the Establishment," declares respected biblical scholar William H. Dever. "Now, archaeology has excavated her." Dever is quite certain that he knows who the Asherah of ancient Israel and of the biblical texts is--she is the wife or consort of Yahweh, the one god of Israel. Many of his colleagues would agree.

....and the fundies howl!

Archaeologica.org

The first porn?!

I tried to be half assed serious... :)