Joke page

Post by **Minimalist** » Tue Sep 05, 2006 9:25 pm

That's pretty good.

"Please cross your legs . . . I've only got one nail left!"

My fav was always....

Q: "Why didn't Jesus get into college?"

A: Because he got nailed on the boards.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Sep 05, 2006 10:49 pm

Post by **Minimalist** » Wed Sep 06, 2006 1:28 am

Three girls died and were brought to the gates of heaven. Upon entering the gate, they were halted by St. Peter and his obedient angel. St. Peter asked the girls, "Before entering you must answer this simple question."

"Which is?" they replied in unison.

"Have you been a good girl?" he asked the first girl. "Oh yes," she said. "I was a virgin before I got married and was still virgin even after I got married." "Very good," said St. Peter. "Angel, give this girl the golden key."

"Have you been a good girl?" he asked the second girl. "Oh, quite good," she said. "I was a virgin before I got married but was not after I got married." "Very good," said St. Peter. "Angel, give this girl the silver key."

"Have you been a good girl?" he asked the third girl. "Oh no, not at all," she said. "I practically have sex with every guy I met before and after I got married. Anywhere, anytime."

"Very good," said St. Peter. "Angel, give this girl my room key."

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Sep 06, 2006 1:49 am

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Sep 06, 2006 5:34 am

Barracuda · Post by **Barracuda** » Thu Sep 07, 2006 5:55 pm

Min, I was just going thru here and saw the Great White Shark Photo. I know it well.

It was taken in South Africa. That guy intentionally kayaks with them. They have never been known to attack humans, or kayaks, in that area.

My area of Northern California, however, is known as the "Red Triangle"

Post by **Minimalist** » Thu Sep 07, 2006 6:26 pm

They have never been known to attack humans, or kayaks, in that area.

Maybe it's like a Demilitarized Zone?

Post by **Minimalist** » Thu Sep 07, 2006 6:59 pm

A surgeon went to check on his blonde patient after an operation. She was awake, so he examined her and
told her "You'll be fine."

She asked, "How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again doctor?"

The surgeon seemed to pause, which alarmed the girl.

"What's the matter Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?"

"Yes, yes you'll be fine," he replied.

"It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out."

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Sep 07, 2006 8:05 pm

Post by **Minimalist** » Thu Sep 07, 2006 9:35 pm

Nah....nothing wrong with that at all.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Sep 07, 2006 9:51 pm

Post by **Minimalist** » Tue Sep 12, 2006 10:14 pm

One day God and Adam were walking together in the garden. God told Adam that it was time to populate the Earth. "Adam, you can start by kissing Eve."

"Lord, what is a kiss?" asked Adam. God explained, and then Adam took Eve behind the bush and kissed her.

A little while later, Adam returned with a big smile and said, "Lord! That was great! What's next?"

"Adam, I now want you to caress Eve." "Lord, what is caress?" asked Adam. God explained, and then Adam took Eve behind the bush and caressed her.

A little while later, Adam returned with a big smile and said, "Lord that was even better than a kiss! What's next?"

"Here is what gets the deed done. I now want you to make love to Eve." "Lord, what is make love?" asked Adam. God explained, and then Adam took Eve behind the bush.

A few seconds later, Adam returned and asked, "Lord, what is a headache?"

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Sep 13, 2006 1:06 am

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Sep 13, 2006 10:34 pm

so far you have not been funny...