Posted: Sun Nov 16, 2008 4:15 pm
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Joke page
Page 23 of 27
Posted: Tue Nov 18, 2008 11:34 am
Speakers or headphones are required.
Be careful if you are in the office or kids are near.....
Mad Cow
Be careful if you are in the office or kids are near.....
Mad Cow
Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 9:28 am
One for you colonials 
The train was packed, and the U. S. Marine Walked the entire length looking for a seat, but a well-dressed, Middle-aged, French woman's poodle took the only seat remaining.
The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am, may I have that
seat?'
The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular, 'Americans
are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.'
The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under
that dog. 'Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired.'
She snorted, 'Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!'
This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little Dog,
tossed it out the train window, and sat down.
The woman shrieked, 'Someone must defend my honor! Put this American in his place!'
An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, 'Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand, you drive your vehicles on the wrong side of the road. And now, Sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out of the window.'
Roy.
The train was packed, and the U. S. Marine Walked the entire length looking for a seat, but a well-dressed, Middle-aged, French woman's poodle took the only seat remaining.
The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am, may I have that
seat?'
The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular, 'Americans
are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.'
The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under
that dog. 'Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired.'
She snorted, 'Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!'
This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little Dog,
tossed it out the train window, and sat down.
The woman shrieked, 'Someone must defend my honor! Put this American in his place!'
An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, 'Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand, you drive your vehicles on the wrong side of the road. And now, Sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out of the window.'
Roy.
Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 6:51 am
Ryanair pilot Paddy is flying into DSA.
The plane is in trouble, so he calls the tower and shouts
"Help, help .... Easter ... Pancake Tuesday .... Christmas ..... New Years Day ..... Bank Holiday Monday .... Halloween .... Bonfire night."...
Voice comes back.
"For fecks sake Paddy, its Mayday" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The plane is in trouble, so he calls the tower and shouts
"Help, help .... Easter ... Pancake Tuesday .... Christmas ..... New Years Day ..... Bank Holiday Monday .... Halloween .... Bonfire night."...
Voice comes back.
"For fecks sake Paddy, its Mayday" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2009 12:18 am
Hey, Arch, is that you? I'm actually glad you're back.
Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 1:57 pm
Not even remotely possible......Frank Harrist wrote:Hey, Arch, is that you? I'm actually glad you're back.
Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 2:07 pm
An honest mistake. He's in Korea and he quotes Arch. Who else would quote that idiot??????????????????????????????????????? No offense, Rudy. It was also the kind of lame-ass joke Arch would like. Again, no offense intended, Rudy. Tell arch hey for me if you see him. BTW Korea has a really good baseball team in the World Baseball Classic. They could win it all.
Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 2:16 pm
Oh, and what better place for arch to re-appear than the JOKE page? Right? 
Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 12:26 am
No offence taken ol' boy. Had a quiet smirk to missen, that's all.Frank Harrist wrote:An honest mistake. He's in Korea and he quotes Arch. Who else would quote that idiot??????????????????????????????????????? No offense, Rudy. It was also the kind of lame-ass joke Arch would like. Again, no offense intended, Rudy. Tell arch hey for me if you see him. BTW Korea has a really good baseball team in the World Baseball Classic. They could win it all.
I don't think Archie has a sense of humour: I reckon it's 'cos he's perhaps from some bizarre German protestant sect that disavows all modern inventions - except the internet.
Yes, my wife is enthralled with Korea having beaten Mexico and is glued to the screen wtaching the needle match of Japan v Korea. That for her is as serious as England beating France in the rugby last week. Well, thrashing actually.
Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 12:27 am
BTW, much enjoyed your book - is it still in print?Frank Harrist wrote:Oh, and what better place for arch to re-appear than the JOKE page? Right?
Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 11:42 am
Which book is that? 
Posted: Sun Mar 29, 2009 9:26 pm
This one:-Frank Harrist wrote:Which book is that?
Available from Amazon http://www.amazon.co.uk/My-Life-Loves-L ... 971&sr=8-1
My Life and Loves (Literary Classics) (Paperback)
by Frank Harris (Author)
2 Reviews
5 star: (1)
4 star: (0)
3 star: (1)
2 star: (0)
1 star: (0)
› See all 2 customer reviews...
4.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Available from these sellers.
3 new from £60.35
Not cheap ....
Posted: Sun Mar 29, 2009 10:31 pm
Oh, that one! My nom de plum(In a previous life when I was Brittish). I have since added the 'T' on the end, but I write under Frank Nolan. I once wrote an operator's manual for a glass tempering furnace, entitled, "Operator's Manual for Glass Tempering Furnace". Not exactly a best-seller, but it was good work, I thought. Out of print now, I'm afraid.
Posted: Sun Mar 29, 2009 11:01 pm
I think I saw the X-rated version of that one.
Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 12:17 am
I starred in it!