Joke page
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Be careful if you are in the office or kids are near.....
Mad Cow
Be careful if you are in the office or kids are near.....
Mad Cow
"It is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." - Carl Sagan
The only restraints that we have on our mind are the ones that we impose on ourself. We are limited by our own thinking.
The only restraints that we have on our mind are the ones that we impose on ourself. We are limited by our own thinking.
One for you colonials
The train was packed, and the U. S. Marine Walked the entire length looking for a seat, but a well-dressed, Middle-aged, French woman's poodle took the only seat remaining.
The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am, may I have that
seat?'
The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular, 'Americans
are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.'
The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under
that dog. 'Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired.'
She snorted, 'Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!'
This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little Dog,
tossed it out the train window, and sat down.
The woman shrieked, 'Someone must defend my honor! Put this American in his place!'
An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, 'Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand, you drive your vehicles on the wrong side of the road. And now, Sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out of the window.'
Roy.
The train was packed, and the U. S. Marine Walked the entire length looking for a seat, but a well-dressed, Middle-aged, French woman's poodle took the only seat remaining.
The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am, may I have that
seat?'
The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular, 'Americans
are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.'
The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under
that dog. 'Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired.'
She snorted, 'Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!'
This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little Dog,
tossed it out the train window, and sat down.
The woman shrieked, 'Someone must defend my honor! Put this American in his place!'
An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, 'Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand, you drive your vehicles on the wrong side of the road. And now, Sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out of the window.'
Roy.
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- Location: Seoul, Korea
Ryanair pilot Paddy is flying into DSA.
The plane is in trouble, so he calls the tower and shouts
"Help, help .... Easter ... Pancake Tuesday .... Christmas ..... New Years Day ..... Bank Holiday Monday .... Halloween .... Bonfire night."...
Voice comes back.
"For fecks sake Paddy, its Mayday" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The plane is in trouble, so he calls the tower and shouts
"Help, help .... Easter ... Pancake Tuesday .... Christmas ..... New Years Day ..... Bank Holiday Monday .... Halloween .... Bonfire night."...
Voice comes back.
"For fecks sake Paddy, its Mayday" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"i do not think that religious people have lower i.q.s i just don't think they gain enough knowledge nor are taught properly how to use what they have learned." - Archaeologist
"Dawkins isn't that intelligent" - Archaeologist
"Dawkins isn't that intelligent" - Archaeologist
An honest mistake. He's in Korea and he quotes Arch. Who else would quote that idiot??????????????????????????????????????? No offense, Rudy. It was also the kind of lame-ass joke Arch would like. Again, no offense intended, Rudy. Tell arch hey for me if you see him. BTW Korea has a really good baseball team in the World Baseball Classic. They could win it all.
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- Location: Seoul, Korea
No offence taken ol' boy. Had a quiet smirk to missen, that's all.Frank Harrist wrote:An honest mistake. He's in Korea and he quotes Arch. Who else would quote that idiot??????????????????????????????????????? No offense, Rudy. It was also the kind of lame-ass joke Arch would like. Again, no offense intended, Rudy. Tell arch hey for me if you see him. BTW Korea has a really good baseball team in the World Baseball Classic. They could win it all.
I don't think Archie has a sense of humour: I reckon it's 'cos he's perhaps from some bizarre German protestant sect that disavows all modern inventions - except the internet.
Yes, my wife is enthralled with Korea having beaten Mexico and is glued to the screen wtaching the needle match of Japan v Korea. That for her is as serious as England beating France in the rugby last week. Well, thrashing actually.
"i do not think that religious people have lower i.q.s i just don't think they gain enough knowledge nor are taught properly how to use what they have learned." - Archaeologist
"Dawkins isn't that intelligent" - Archaeologist
"Dawkins isn't that intelligent" - Archaeologist
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- Joined: Wed Apr 11, 2007 6:02 pm
- Location: Seoul, Korea
BTW, much enjoyed your book - is it still in print?Frank Harrist wrote:Oh, and what better place for arch to re-appear than the JOKE page? Right?
"i do not think that religious people have lower i.q.s i just don't think they gain enough knowledge nor are taught properly how to use what they have learned." - Archaeologist
"Dawkins isn't that intelligent" - Archaeologist
"Dawkins isn't that intelligent" - Archaeologist
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- Posts: 31
- Joined: Wed Apr 11, 2007 6:02 pm
- Location: Seoul, Korea
This one:-Frank Harrist wrote:Which book is that?
Available from Amazon http://www.amazon.co.uk/My-Life-Loves-L ... 971&sr=8-1
My Life and Loves (Literary Classics) (Paperback)
by Frank Harris (Author)
2 Reviews
5 star: (1)
4 star: (0)
3 star: (1)
2 star: (0)
1 star: (0)
› See all 2 customer reviews...
4.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Available from these sellers.
3 new from £60.35
Not cheap ....
"i do not think that religious people have lower i.q.s i just don't think they gain enough knowledge nor are taught properly how to use what they have learned." - Archaeologist
"Dawkins isn't that intelligent" - Archaeologist
"Dawkins isn't that intelligent" - Archaeologist
Oh, that one! My nom de plum(In a previous life when I was Brittish). I have since added the 'T' on the end, but I write under Frank Nolan. I once wrote an operator's manual for a glass tempering furnace, entitled, "Operator's Manual for Glass Tempering Furnace". Not exactly a best-seller, but it was good work, I thought. Out of print now, I'm afraid.
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I think I saw the X-rated version of that one.
Something is wrong here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is not good work. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed.
-- George Carlin
-- George Carlin