I've found the coffin of Jesus, says film director

[autumnlady]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/a ... ge_id=1770

[marduk]

http://archaeologica.boardbot.com/viewtopic.php?t=1085

[stan]

Here's one of them.

[Forum Monk]

Yep, that's one of them. A New Zealand paper had a little online slide show that also showed the same ossuary along with pics of Jacobovici and Cameron. Good find, Stan.

[Cognito]

Do these latest trinkets mean we've been saved? I'm getting tired of waiting for something really spectacular to occur ... Rapture ... Abyss ... Chariots ... Gnashing of Teeth.

[marduk]

three certainties in life for when you are confused
1) death
2) taxes
3) everything is always cheaper on e bay

much easier to remember than those ten silly rules imo
and far more practical seeing as the ten are actually now 2000 years (minimum) out of date

having spoken to the lord Jesus his father the almighty and his insubstantial friend the holy ghost i was asked to pass on the following addendums

1. You shall have no other Gods but me.

unless you belong to a religion that is actually based on me (i.e.YHWH (why did you think its always in capitals anyway)) but where they called me a different name (i.e. christianity, catholicism etc etc)

2. You shall not make for yourself any idol, nor bow down to it or worship it.

unless its an image of my son in torment or was sold to you by a member of the clergy or a gift shop attached to an authorised place of worship or if you got it second hand from e bay

3. You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God.

unless you hit your thumb with a hammer or get pissed off at the world I have created for you or unless Satan makes you do it. You ladies in the throws of orgasm are also fine to blaspheme as I understand why in most cases while in this position your husbands name escapes you

4. You shall remember and keep the Sabbath day holy.

unless you happen to be working and paying your taxes

5. Respect your father and mother.

unless theyre bastards and abused you in which case you have my blessing to kill them

6. You must not kill.

see above, also its fine to kill anyone who doesn't believeth in me and in this case you should follow my example of Genesis 6

7. You must not commit adultery.

Unless you really need to and especially if your wife doesnt understand you, lets face it guys I really wrote this one just for the women, if you catch your wife committing adultery you have my blessing to have her stoned to death

8. You must not steal.

unless its from those who don't believeth in me and its ok to contravene this law if you are already rich and you can get away with it. or if youre a member of my church and the item you steal is a third world country

9. You must not give false evidence against your neighbour.

unless once again he is a heretical non believer in which case you can lie as much as you want while holding my book in your right hand. It is also fine to give false evidence if you are a politician. No one will ever know so wheres the harm

10. You must not be envious of your neighbour's goods. You shall not be envious of his house nor his wife, nor anything that belongs to your neighbour.

unless once again hes a non believereth in me heretical mofo who you should have taken care of under section 6 already. In this case you are free to steal what you want kill all his loved ones steal all his property, give false evidence against him, commit adultery with his wife, you will get extra credit for beating him to death with an idol of me and for screaming my name over and over as you pound his head in with it.
If you can also do this on a sunday morning before church then I guarantee you a place at my side when the time comes

cheers
your loving God
YHWH
(please note capitals are there for a reason people)