Birthday!

[Digit]

I'm 70 this September, I wish I wasn't but I can't do much about it, but today i found that 69 years I've been 'celebrating' on the wrong date!

Roy.

[Minimalist]

Beats not making 70....which is about all I can say for it.


How did you get the date wrong? I'm curious because my dad had 3 different birthdays and also got his name wrong.

[Digit]

One of the comments that has been thrown at me over the years Min is, 'is there anything that hasn't happened to you?'
Even my F in L was dubious till my wife confirmed things from my half of the family.
My mother went into labour earlier than nature intended, Mister Hitler machine gunned the front of our house and I was born on the floor amongst the wreckage. So I was told.
The official history of the town states that the town was never subject to attack.
Later in the war I was buried by a falling wall from bomb blast and had to be dug out, so I was somewhat dubious as my parent's claims when reading the 'official' line.
The BBC ran a series of questionaires, 'your memories of WW2' which was catalogued town by town, so I decided to check.
Three people repeated the story of the street where I was born being shot up, but none mentioned the day or date!
Dad claimed I was born on the 20th Sept 1940, mum said the 12th!
My birth certificate says the 20th!
Eventually I found out that the street was machine gunned along its length by a Dornier bomber on Thursday 12th Sept and that it was shot down shortly after by the pilot of a Spitfire.
Apparently the confusing on the dates came about 'cos dad was working 12 hr shifts plus 'fire watching', (in the local pub!) and didn't register my birth within the legally required time, so he added 8 days to keep him self out of trouble!
I also discovered that the town was bombed, probably by accident, three times.
My daughter says that's ruined her date keeping, she was born on the 21st Sept and my grandson on the 23rd!

Roy.

[Minimalist]

That's quite a story.

So....it's Hitler's fault.


You'd think the Dornier crew would have been better off shooting at the Spitfire, no?

[Digit]

They probably did Min, and yes, I'm certain Hitler was out to get me!

Roy.

[Minimalist]

My dad was born in 1916 and his birth certificate was hand-written. He said he was born on November 10. When he applied for Social Security they needed one with the raised seal from the city of NY. We got the official copy from the Hall of Records and to our surprise it said he was born November 1. Comparing the two we could clearly see that someone had written in the "0" with a different type of pen. To break the tie he dragged out his army discharge papers which claimed his birth date was September 26, 1916. (Well...that's the army for you.)

Oddly, we were so busy worrying about the date that no one noticed the name. We named my second son after him...Nicholas Richard...except on the certificate my dad's name was Niccolo Enzo. We asked where "Richard" came from and he had no clue.

(My son, for his part, is delighted not to be named "Enzo.")


It got to be a problem when he went on Medicaid (which is the government run health program for seniors that these Tea Party nitwits think is not run by the 'government.') We always had to screen his calls because when the alzheimer's set in he couldn't remember which date he gave different agencies.

Fortunately, the army never tried to call him back to active duty.

[Digit]

Nothing like government departments for screwing things up is there Min?

Roy.

[Minimalist]

I suppose....nowadays they have computers to help them.

[Digit]

That's a laugh! Tony Blair was by his own admission unable to use a computer, therefore he had the stupid idea that computers could solve anything.
The result was, and is, billions wasted on data bases etc that most teenagers could have told him would be difficult to get up and running and with huge maintenance costs.
I found an example yesterday. For decades the 'Family Records Office' has maintained the records of births, deaths and marriages on paper, then microfiche.
But throw a few millions at it and we get a computer system that is not up and running and the old system shut down.
They screwed up Air Traffic Control, Customs and Inland Revenue, ID Cards, Driver's Licences, State Pensions, Prison Officers Security, National Health Records, Child Support, Paedophile Register, School's Exams, and these are only the ones that we are aware of. Watch this space!
A chap on another forum stated that the he works for one of the companies involved and they know it's crap, but they are getting paid so what the hell!

Roy.

[Minimalist]

My personal experience with government computer systems is that they are marketed under false pretenses. They try to sell them to the workers as a "job aid" but in fact they are always designed to facilitate the generation of management reports...which no one ever reads but we had so many layers of "management" that each felt compelled to add its own agenda to every project.

In the mid 80's the IRS (our version of Inland Revenue) handed out "portable" computers to Revenue Agents. They weighed 60 pounds when you combined all the manuals, disks, peripherals, etc. They had NO hard drive. Using them required constantly changing disks ( those 5 inch floppies...remember them? ) Agents were given a choice to use them or not and all the young guys grabbed them and the old guys laughed. One day I ( in my capacity as union steward) observed a contest in which two Agents were doing an audit technique called a bank reconciliation, one on this "computer" and the other with a pad and pencil. I'm sure you know the result. Mr. Pencil was half done by the time Mr. Computer finished loading the program (which took something like 6 floppy disks, btw). Mr. Pencil finished and went to get coffee which he proceeded to sit there and drink while Mr. Computer finished the exercise. Their Manager, who was observing with me and laughing his ass off the whole time, certified that both had gotten the correct answer but that the computer took three times longer. I asked him if he was going to tell the Chief how worthless the thing was and he shook his head and said " that's your job...they won't listen to me."

[Digit]

Par for the course Min. We are one of the few European countries without identity cards, the late unlamented mob insisted that they were gonna push this through. After constant ministerial interference and delays the cost has risen to an estimated 10 Billion!
No need for passports, drivers licence, bank card, improved security, control of illegal immigration, everything bar cook the tea!
One minor snag! Carrying one with you would not be compulsory, if stopped by a police officer you would have 5 days to identify yourself at a police station!
The new government is abandoning it after 5 billion already spent!

Roy.

[Minimalist]

Chump change.

[Digit]

Talking about government screw ups, I was looking at the CITES list yesterday for the UK.
Our officials are really on the ball! Listed are the Brown bear and the Wolf.
I can't speak for the rest of Europe but here in Wales they are rarer than Dodos!

Roy.

[Minimalist]

I guess the only list beyond "endangered" is "extinct?"

[Digit]

They are extinct here Min, the last Wolf was killed in 1700s, Bears long before that!

Roy.